For the fallen

Today is a day to remember all of those that put themselves in harm's way to save others. Whether or not you agree with anything that America has done in the past five years, there are hundreds and thousands of people that put their own lives on the line that day, and every day since. We held a small memorial in St. Albert today, but it was good to remember and respect those that have fallen.

Thank you to all emergency service personnel, you're job is so important... and appreciated.

Deleted post

I just realized that over 100 people have visited my blog. All of a sudden, I figured out that I really should keep certain things to myself that may affect my job (well, until I figure out the settings on this thing). So I ended up deleting one of my posts, or at least saving it to an internal file and deleted it from public view.

I've been using the username nerudite for awhile and, with a few exceptions, most of the sites on the internet with that nickname are mine. So even though I don't state my real name here, there are a lot people that could easily figure out who I am.

So I realize I'm not anonymous. And I should keep that in mind I suppose. Bummer, how easy it is to spy on someone these days, and how narrow people's views can be when it comes to what they read.

Vote or shut up

So I'm leafing through my mail-in voting pamphlet, and the candidates in Washington State that I have to choose from are growing ever more pathetic. I'm starting to understand why voting turnout is so low these days. But I've always held that if you don't vote, you can't complain. I mean, if you don't say anything when you have your chance, then just don't bother saying anything at all is my philosophy.

Opening up my ballot information package, which is starting to look like a small-town phonebook with all of the ballot measures in Washington, there isn't any really easy candidate to choose here. I used to vote, for the most part, right down party lines. I mean in the U.S., at this time, you really have two parties. So it's really tearing me apart that Maria Cantwell voted for the Iraq occupation, and continues to vote in favour of funding the operations overseas. So sorry, Maria, but I'm going Green this year. You really lost my respect, Maria, so I'm voting non-Democrat for a Senator for the first time ever. Way to go.

Luckily, I still have a groovy Representative in Brian Baird. He voted against the original Bill for funding the operations in Iraq, and continues to voice his concern about the war. And he generally votes in line with my way of thinking on most issues. So at least I'm sticking with him for now.

For anyone that is interested in researching their candidates a bit (for the U.S. elections, of course), I find www.vote-smart.org really easy to use. You can look up issues by keywords, or go straight to a specific bill or resolution. Do your duty America! Otherwise, don't come whining to me later.

Countdown to Freedom

Okay, as an American, I guess I am technically 'free' (or supposedly so). But for the last five years I've been living in Canada under a work permit, which makes you anything but free. In less than one week though, I have my final interview for permanent residency and once that is issued, I'll be truly free (at least in the eyes of Canada).

For you see, for the last five years, I have had to endure horrid stress over the whole work permit thing. I'm married to a Canadian, but for any reason if I lost my job, I would be kicked out of the country on my arse. I've had to update everything annually, and everything is tied to my work permit. For three years in a row, despite how early I turn in my paperwork, my work permits have lapsed because of how long they take to process. I've lost my health insurance, couldn't renew my driver's license or vehicle license, couldn't leave the country for awhile... it's been a nightmare.

Oh, and under a work permit, you can't even take a freaking training course. My job keeps growing at my workplace, but I haven't been able to take any training (outside of conferences or in-house offerings) to even address any educational shortcomings that may make me a more effective employee.

Alberta, as anyone in North America should know, is one of the largest sources of oil in the world and is currently booming in a way that makes my skills particularly valuable. But the hoops you have to jump through to move up here permanently are insane. Here's a little rundown of what you need to do to become a permanent resident:

• I had to list every house I ever lived at (including addresses and dates) since the time I was 18;
• I had to list every job I have ever held (with dates and addresses!) since the time I was 18;
• I needed to list every person I ever lived with in a common law way, and state their whereabouts and whether they knew I was up here;
• I needed to list the dates that my husband met my family and friends and when I met his (with photos, if possible);
• I had to provide photos and details of my wedding (and shower), including reasons why certain family or friends could not attend;
• I had to provide photos of family vacations, as well as details as to where we went and when;
• I had to have expensive medical exams (including an EKG and x-rays);
• I had to get my criminal records (or letter stating lack thereof) from every state I ever lived in AND the FBI (which meant I had to get four sets of official, original fingerprints taken); and
• I had to supply proof of income and still have someone (my husband) sponsor me in case I lose my job.

And actually the list goes on and on, but I won't dull everyone with the details. The processing has taken almost one year since the time I mailed the application, and in the meantime I had to fight to get my work permit renewed, my health insurance reinstated and my driver's license renewed. I even contacted the Minister of Immigration over the problems, and have yet to hear back from their office (and it's been over seven months).

In a province that desperately needs skilled workers and professionals to deal with this insane pace of growth, I find it so incredibly ironic that they throw so many roadblocks in your way to moving here. It's been really disappointing to say the least.

I guess I shouldn't be too negative (or vocal about my negativity) until I actually get that permanent residency card in the mail (or at least until after the interview). But I am actually excited to get this whole thing over with. I can't wait to actually go to training sessions again, or maybe even (*gasp*) take a real university course. It's the little things that count and make you feel like you are 'free', and I have a renewed appreciation of the ability to do what I please.

And of course, not getting kicked out of the country for any little lame excuse will be a bonus.

So here's to six days and counting! Don't let me down Canada, because other than your crappy immigration process, you really are quite cool!

Passing in Peace

I want to devote an entry to one of my favourite writers, Naguib Mahfouz, who passed away this week. While I am always saddened when the world loses one so talented, I do take comfort that his passing was peaceful and in the presence of his wife. It was said that they were whispering and smiling to each other as he went. I hope to be so lucky, when my time comes. And I am so relieved considering that he spent the last decade of his life with a fatwa looming over him, with the possibility that he would be taken unnaturally and cruelly at the hands of a stranger.

The first novel I read of his was Midaq Alley, a stark yet beautiful account of living in a Cairo slum. The beauty in the despair and hope of each inhabitant of the alley was so real to me, that it inspired me to overcome some of my own hurdles in life. I have read several of his novels since that dark time in my life, and he will always remain an inspiration to me. To anyone thinking of visiting Cairo, I truly recommend that you read the Cairo Trilogy. You'll understand the beat of the City in a way that a travelogue could never orient you.

I awake from dreams of thee

I have been having many odd dreams lately. I suppose this is good, because it means that I'm not drugged out of my mind. At least I've been sleeping.

Most of my dreams involve some kind of collusion where I'm afraid that someone will find me out for something I've said or done. The details are sketchy, but I spend a lot of time trying to get somewhere undercover. I woke up this morning mid-chase, trying to plan a way to get back to an unknown hotel room by trading cars with someone, driving to a diner and hailing a cab from there. I woke up on the way back to my hotel room, so I don't know if I was going to make it or not.

The night before, I had a dream where my husband and I were trying to find some space for ourselves, maybe we were at a party or something. I kept noticing other people watch us as we moved from room to room, looking for a place to be alone. At some point I think we decided to 'stay over', and crashed in some room with a huge bed. We were starting to get into having sex, when we realized that there was someone lying in the bed next to us. That person started pushing their way in, and at the time I felt like I wanted that (but didn't voice it in my dream). My husband kicked the guy out and we ended up leaving the gathering. But once again, we left under the circumstance that someone was following us, and we felt like we had to make a break for it.

I don't know why almost every dream I have turns to some kind of mental chase, trying to outsmart some unknown assailant or person with ulterior motives. I have a theory that all of the crap going down at home, and the fact that I'm tied down here in a way that I'm unused to, has me subconsciously needing an escape. But here I am, first thing on a Sunday morning, and I'm already anxious from the running around in the dream. I wish life would just settle, or that I could take a break and get out of here for awhile to clear my head.