A whirlpool of thoughts

I have been thinking a lot over the past few days about this entry, my first real entry. And a rush of words flood through my brain, but none of it actually spills onto the blank template. I can never explain the wonder in life or the emotions within me. Although I am haunted by the written word, I have trouble using it to convey my innermost thoughts. Or at least in a way that I feel would move others. With a few rare exceptions, my words have been lifeless to me.

I believe that is why I have always been befuddled by words and how they hook into me… the way I can fall in love with a verse or phrase, where I’ll think about it without knowing and smile. I’ll suddenly find it swirling around me in quiet moments. There are passages from poetry I can smell, taste and feel because we have been intimate for so long. Poems and songs are a holiday, an island to myself.

When I stand in an open field or by the shore, the words of others fly to me that somehow better convey the beauty of the moment more than my words ever could. And I guess that is why I am left here, with so little to say. I have named this journal 'a stone, a leaf, an unfound door' because those are the words that have haunted me the longest.

As difficult as words come to me, the illustration comes easier. I can visualize anything, maybe because I have done it for a living for so long, or maybe because I have had a camera in my hand since I was six. So I will start with photography, and maybe the words will come later.